working out!!

Today was a great day. I went to the gym while Cailyn was at school and I got in a great workout. I felt so good all the way through it and when I was done. I gave it my all and am excited to get back in the routine. I am hoping to get in a 3 or 4 day routine and quick!! I had a good day food wise. I discovered my love of whole grain mini bagels and fat free cream cheese lol. I made some of those funky monkey bars from the hungry girl cookbook.. banana and chocolate..and low in calories. HEAVEN!

I am exhausted though. This weather is awful and makes me sleepy lol. I am trying to get through the premier of Too Fat for 15 on the style network.This show makes me cry. It doesn't matter who it is their story hits a nerve every time. I know what it is like to fight this battle as an adult but I can't imagine being my size or BIGGER at 16 years old. Yes I was heavy then but to be 400lbs at the age robs you of your life, of the moments we are all meant to have. You're first kiss, dances, having any sort of a social life. And for some it takes away things like getting their license or even graduating. Kids are mean and teenagers are even worse. I had a tough skin. I was totally rubber in the equation of high school. It just bounced off. I never let it get to me. Had I been bigger and unable to keep up it could'been a different story. I threw myself into activities and being social that I tried to not let it slow me down. Looking back I have some amazing memories but I know there are times that I wish I was smaller. Dress shopping for dances SUCKED. And I remember on the slip to fill out for your cap and gown you are asked for your height and weight, well when I got my gown it was very obvious that someone just looked at my measurements and said ok we need to make thisor a whale. It was embarrassing. I think at one point I contemplated making a blanket out of it. Seriously. I wish there was a place like on this show when I was a teenager, I may not be fighting this war if I had been given a chance like these kids.

I guess my point is that the reality of this is real. Real scary. These are kids that were raised in a super size me world and are paying the price. Breaks my heart every time I see it.