I haven't posted in a few days and with good reason. Thursday Cailyn had school and I had to run a bunch or errands that day and by the time I was able to sit down and relax I just wanted to sleep!! Friday I didn't do much. Just didn't feel like doing anything at all. Well turns out it was because I had the flu creeping up on me and getting ready to set up shop. First cailyn got sick. I hate cleaning up puke. Lance always cleaned up the puke. On top of it being gross it was bright orange thanks to her vitamin. Every hour on the hour til 4 am. Then it was my turn. I got sick every hour from 4 am until 2pm on sat. I had to call my mom and my stepdad came and got me and hte girls and we just spent the night over there because there is no way I could take careof them let alone myself. I missed my sisters very eventful 21st birthday. I lost 3 lbs. I had no energy on sunday and even forgot to feed the girls dinner. They woke up starving this morning. I also had to miss out on a gathering of awesome people at a friends house :(
I feel better today. I am deep cleaning my house because I am having a longtime friend over and her mother to help her look at wedding venues tomorrow! My house needs disinfected top to bottom!! I also got out emergency bags ready so I can stop panicking at night over what if. I also was a complete bitch to my husband on the phone today. Yup. I admit it. Its not easy to admit it but I was. I have so much whizzing through my brain that all I managed to pull out was anger. Not love, not compassion, not " i miss you more then I have ever missed anything in my entire life and don't know how i can get through these next months without you" just anger at something stupid. I hate that I can't be rational at all. I need to see someone about that i think :P
Any suggestions on not losing my cool so fast?
I went thru the Navy's One Source to see a counselor. If your serious about maybe needing to talk to someone they are a good place to start. They'll hook you up with someone in your area and you get 6 free sessions. Then again it could just be all the stress you have going on right now :) Don't beat yourself up too bad over it. He knows you have a lot going on, and he loves you anyways! :) Keep your head up girl.
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