It's a beautiful day in the PNW. Sunny and cold, but its gorgeous. You can see the mountains, the trees are sparkling. I love it!! It made for a great start to a tuesday morning. A fresh start is what I needed. Monday was a fail.
Last night I got my cravings for something sweet. 2 doughnuts and 2 weight watchers candy bar ice creams, it was satisfied.500 calories worth of nothingness! Now just to be clear it didnt throw me for my calorie count. I ended my day at 2200 calories. But jeez who eats like that? I felt so embarassed that I hid in my bedroom while I ate it. WHO DOES THAT? Me thats who!! Especially when I know I shouldn't. I did it when I was younger too. This story is totally embarassing and really shameful but its a good lesson on the fact that Im not fat solely for the face that Im lazy, but for the fact that I was living to eat and not eating to live.
When I was 17 I made a late night trip to jack in the box. It must have been about 11 or so. I was hungry and instead of finding something healthy I waddled to my car and drove to get something quick. When I got there I had this overcoming urge to just eat til I was full. I ordered at least 5 things from the value menu and to make it worse I prentended I was on the phone with someone who I was ordering for so that the person at the window didn't think I was a pig. Which I was. If you have to pretend that you are ordering for two chances are you aren't making right choices. I know my problems, I know my weaknesses and yet I still cant tell myself no. Trust me I have made leaps and bounds in the past few years but it doesn't make it any easier.
Today is one of those days that I realize what a truly difficult journey this is going to be. The past week I have had more bad days then good. I haven't worked out since Thursday. I'm planning all this food for the Superbowl without taking my own diet restrictions into play. I need to rethink my game plan for this week. I am getting on the treadmill when I am done with this post. I have 5 more lbs to lose before I can get my haircut and I NEED it cut. Ive got a lot of work ahead of me the next few days but I am going to challenge myself to get on that treadmill everyday for the rest of this week. It's Feb 1st and its been 31 days since I began and almost 6 lbs is great but i need to step it up if I am going to reach any of my goals. Thanks to everyone who is rooting for me. It really does help, I just need to start rooting for myself a little more :/
This is sssooo my story too! I used to order two drinks so it looked like what I was ordering was for two people! Even though I have lost all this weight I am still crazy with my food, so I feel ya lady! Keep up the blog I loveit!!!
ReplyDeleteOh amy I am so glad you shared that with me! Makes me feel less ashamed because I wasn't the only one!!
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