Here they are

When I thought about blogging about my weight loss I thought I would be honest with my story of why I gained the weight and honest with the things I ate but I never thought Id let you guys know how much I actually weighed. Well I did. Then I thought about taking those before pictures that show you the shape of my body in black leggings and a  tank top.

But I realized the basis of my blog is to let you guys know what it is REALLY like to obese. Not what it looks like all covered up. I am warning you now that the images are not cute. Not at all. This is what it really looks like to be fat. For me anyway. Sure I can buy cute clothes, I can squeeze myself into things that make it appear smaller. But at the end of the day this is what 277 lbs looks like on my 5'4" frame.

So there you have it. This is what I look like when I look in a mirror. I hate what  I see. I know what this is doing to my body on the inside. I have cartiledge tearing in my rib cage due to the pull of my chest and stomach. My right legs goes numb sometimes due a mixture of a botched epidural procedure and the fact that my fat can help pinch the nerve that was effected.

The one thing I can take solace in is the fact that regardless of the way my body has changed my husband still loves me . He always has. What he probably doesn't love so much is how the weight has changed who I am. I am way more abrasive and I have walls up sometimes. I go into protection mode when I am fat. Even against the one person who is always by my side. But by doing this blog and seeing how many people are with me in the struggle and everyone giving great advice and not just making fun of me, those walls are coming down. I have this sense of determination inside and I feel amazing when I read the comments on here and my facebook. I plan to be the person he fell in love with , inside and out, when he gets home from school!


I cant wait to look back a year from now and see all the progress Ive made! This is the before and I can't wait for the after!