sniff sniff cough cough

I want to not be sick. Is that too much to ask?? LOL. This cold is ongoing and it's a real bitch *kinda like me, so I guess I have karma to thank?* The nice thing is though that I haven't been super hungry all the time. I still wake up and get a good breakfast in. Fresh fruit, yogurts , possibly a piece of whole grain toast. I really am focused in my head but sometimes I lose track at the end of the day.

 My anxiety about Lance leaving is getting worse. I am a nervous eater, a nervous scratcher, a nervous cleaner. I find myself getting really panicked about little things right now. Clutter, unmade beds, things of that nature. I am trying to stay calm and take it day by day but the days are getting fewer and fewer and I am scared about it all. The other night Lance went out with some friends and I was here by myself. I thought it was a nice test run for what life will be like . I was so nervous to go to bed. I made a walk through of the house 4 times. Checking doors and windows and things around the outlets. I get paranoid and then I am wide awake. This cold was my saving grace because it makes me so tired at the end of the day. I am hoping after a few weeks I can get used to the anxiousness and sleep better at night. When he would be on duty in Virginia I would stay up til 3 or 4 in the morning then sleep til 10..It is not an option here because I have to get up and function for the sake of my girls. I am hoping to having to step up and not just worry about me will give me enough strength to do the things that have to be done, for my self and for them.